Jan 12, 2010
It’s currently 1 AM on the morning of January 12. I had retired to bed early prepared for a good night’s sleep. I was sleeping soundly until I abruptly was awakened. I looked at the clock and thought “what”? It’s usually around 4 or 5 AM that I start to stir. I laid there and tried to figure it out. What was going on? I’ve learned to listen to certain stirrings and restless feelings. Usually I find something is speaking to me. I decided not to fight it so I got up. I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of milk and then it slammed me.
Today is Tyler’s birthday and he was born after midnight on January 12, 1985. Wow! I go to his photo sitting by the sofa. Next to his single photo is one of my three children and myself. It’s the one taken in May 2009. The photo of Tyler is one of my favorites. He is leaning over a rock in his hiking gear with a West Point bottle that he always carried when working out and displaying a beautiful relaxed smile. It was taken in 2007 while he and Daniel were climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I light the candle every time I walk into my home. This time I lit the candle and whispered, “Happy Birthday Son”. I start to cry and pick up my laptop.
I really miss you son! I don’t know how to recover from this. Since you have died though I have learned new patience and I certainly know there is a God. I pray I will see you once again someday.
I do take comfort in knowing you were a true man and were following your heart. That’s all I ever wanted for you, Daniel and Anna Laura.
On the 1oth I wrote of your journal and how you described in great detail your feelings of fear, pain, and exhaustion. Below is a response from an officer of which I will not name due to possible ramifications. His response is as follows:
Lona,
Thank you for sharing that with me. My words can't describe what an
inspiration you and your family have been for me. The examples of strength
and faith that you guys have demonstrated throughout this whole process have
encouraged me to re-evaluate the way I lead my own family so that we may one
day be as admirable as you guys are.
In response to the question you raised in the second paragraph, "do all US
Soldiers go through this", my personal answer would be no. They may all feel
the fear, pain, shock, and pure exhaustion (as you mentioned), but not all of
them still carry forward the assigned missions. That part you mentioned about
still carrying forward with the mission is what "separates the men from the
boys". From everything I have learned of him, Tyler was definitely an
extraordinary leader who always carried forward with the mission, despite the
odds against him and whatever other negative variables there may have been.
Throughout my two tours in Iraq, I observed Soldiers who weren't able to get
past the fear, pain, shock, or whatever the case was. It appeared at the time
that it simply just wasn't in them to "press on". I'm not a psychologist
who claims to know what separates those who can press on from those who
can't, but I like to think that a lot of it depends on the way we are raised
by our parents, and the self-confidence they instill in us along the way. I
guess what I'm trying to tell you is, I've never observed a family that
prepared their children for the world as well as you and Dave has. I pray
for guidance on ways to integrate the same values that you guys demonstrate
into my own life so I can do the same with my children. Getting back to the
question you raise though, you are correct. Soldiers do pour an unimaginable
amount of selfless sacrifice into their jobs. I apologize if my response of
"no" might have sounded negative towards the Army in any way. That definitely
wasn't my intent. Those types of Soldiers I mentioned having observed are few
and far between.
I like that verse from John 15 that you quoted at the bottom of your letter.
Another verse that I draw inspiration from is Psalm 82:3-4.
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
Author, (not disclosed)
Tyler, though you died early, you died a real man full of wisdom and with a love of God in your heart. Even though I am mourning your death, I take pride in your life. I take comfort in that.
Happy birthday son!
It’s currently 1 AM on the morning of January 12. I had retired to bed early prepared for a good night’s sleep. I was sleeping soundly until I abruptly was awakened. I looked at the clock and thought “what”? It’s usually around 4 or 5 AM that I start to stir. I laid there and tried to figure it out. What was going on? I’ve learned to listen to certain stirrings and restless feelings. Usually I find something is speaking to me. I decided not to fight it so I got up. I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of milk and then it slammed me.
Today is Tyler’s birthday and he was born after midnight on January 12, 1985. Wow! I go to his photo sitting by the sofa. Next to his single photo is one of my three children and myself. It’s the one taken in May 2009. The photo of Tyler is one of my favorites. He is leaning over a rock in his hiking gear with a West Point bottle that he always carried when working out and displaying a beautiful relaxed smile. It was taken in 2007 while he and Daniel were climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I light the candle every time I walk into my home. This time I lit the candle and whispered, “Happy Birthday Son”. I start to cry and pick up my laptop.
I really miss you son! I don’t know how to recover from this. Since you have died though I have learned new patience and I certainly know there is a God. I pray I will see you once again someday.
I do take comfort in knowing you were a true man and were following your heart. That’s all I ever wanted for you, Daniel and Anna Laura.
On the 1oth I wrote of your journal and how you described in great detail your feelings of fear, pain, and exhaustion. Below is a response from an officer of which I will not name due to possible ramifications. His response is as follows:
Lona,
Thank you for sharing that with me. My words can't describe what an
inspiration you and your family have been for me. The examples of strength
and faith that you guys have demonstrated throughout this whole process have
encouraged me to re-evaluate the way I lead my own family so that we may one
day be as admirable as you guys are.
In response to the question you raised in the second paragraph, "do all US
Soldiers go through this", my personal answer would be no. They may all feel
the fear, pain, shock, and pure exhaustion (as you mentioned), but not all of
them still carry forward the assigned missions. That part you mentioned about
still carrying forward with the mission is what "separates the men from the
boys". From everything I have learned of him, Tyler was definitely an
extraordinary leader who always carried forward with the mission, despite the
odds against him and whatever other negative variables there may have been.
Throughout my two tours in Iraq, I observed Soldiers who weren't able to get
past the fear, pain, shock, or whatever the case was. It appeared at the time
that it simply just wasn't in them to "press on". I'm not a psychologist
who claims to know what separates those who can press on from those who
can't, but I like to think that a lot of it depends on the way we are raised
by our parents, and the self-confidence they instill in us along the way. I
guess what I'm trying to tell you is, I've never observed a family that
prepared their children for the world as well as you and Dave has. I pray
for guidance on ways to integrate the same values that you guys demonstrate
into my own life so I can do the same with my children. Getting back to the
question you raise though, you are correct. Soldiers do pour an unimaginable
amount of selfless sacrifice into their jobs. I apologize if my response of
"no" might have sounded negative towards the Army in any way. That definitely
wasn't my intent. Those types of Soldiers I mentioned having observed are few
and far between.
I like that verse from John 15 that you quoted at the bottom of your letter.
Another verse that I draw inspiration from is Psalm 82:3-4.
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
Author, (not disclosed)
Tyler, though you died early, you died a real man full of wisdom and with a love of God in your heart. Even though I am mourning your death, I take pride in your life. I take comfort in that.
Happy birthday son!
Oh yes, by the way, you were always the kid that stuck his finger into every birthday cake first, no matter where we were and no matter how old you had become. I laugh at that now. It was your nature to be the first and you so loved sweets.
I am now going to try and sleep some more. I love you son! It’s your day! Make the most of it.
Love,
Mom
I am now going to try and sleep some more. I love you son! It’s your day! Make the most of it.
Love,
Mom
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