January 2, 2010

Jan 2, 2009

What a morning! I slept well, not surprised because I took 2 sleeping pills. I have actually not have had to take any since I can hear the ocean waves and the rhythm lulls me to sleep. For some reason though, I felt I didn’t even want to dream….so I took not one but two. Knocked me out!. I woke at about 8 am. My thoughts were with my daughter.. I knew she was to meet with a man who has a talent for recording music. They say he is the best in Jtown. What do I know! Anna Laura called him and he was rude! I confirmed the appointment with him yesterday and yes….he is rude! Anyway…she was willing to go forward just to get her voice recorded singing a song of which we only have the lyrics to a song written by Tyler with no music, to a piano piece Tyler composed called “His Masterpiece”. She felt it was that important…keep in mind, she is only 19 years old. I called her with words of encouragement and we laughed and made light of the situation. We know Tyler is playing around with us.! I then called my sister and just rambled. She figured out what I needed. She offered to go with Anna Laura. I said …Wow…Please! I then called my mother. I rambled on again. My sister called back and said Dave, Anna Laura’s father is driving up to go with her. Whew!!!!! thank goodness!

I was a nervous wreck the rest of the morning. Went to the gym and had a hard workout. Let’s not go there right now. Anytime the kids came home we worked out together. I taught them and they taught me new combinations and new moves. Tyler was big into Crossfit! He train his platoon using it. Crossfit named a “Heroes” workout in his honor after his death. His last visit home, he put me through a real crossfit workout. I knew I wasn’t getting the benefits that it should offer because you should be totally spent after a 20 minute workout. Tyler picked one and put me through it the way it should be and I thought I would throw at the end. At one time he had me just count for him and time him. SUCH HEART! I watched my son give everything he had into a 20 minute workout and he was on the floor at the end. One thing he was trying to teach me was a kipping pull-up. Most women can do a pull-ups. He was trying to show how to swing my body weight into the weak portion of the standard pull-up. I had blisters under my gloves but couldn’t get. Now I have realized I can use the gravitron. and my swing and I am determined I will be doing FULL body pull up within the next month in his honor. I’m down to 25 lbs on the gravitron. Keep in mind. I am 5’9” and 150 lbs., muscle of course (had to add that).

Anyway, I was shaking by the time I got to the gym. I put on my music that means a lot to me and was planning on just jogging on the treadmill until the endorphins kicked in and it could take the place of Zanax, of which I’ve had to use since Tyler’s death, Low and behold…..all the New Year’s resolution people were there. No available treadmill. Still shaking,,,,what do I do to get me through the morning. Okay!!!! I donned my weight-lifting gloves and put myself into a “Tyler” crossfit workout. I think people there thought I was insane. Here is a woman, not worried about anyone in the gym. Totally focused on my workout. IPod loud and loaded in my top. I went from sit-ups, to pushups to the graviton pull-ups and squats. No rest in between. At the end of the 20 minutes I was spent. I looked up then and all the treadmills were empty. LOL,,,,,Ha ha , Tyler!

When I walked out Anna Laura called. It’s done she said. The man is a loon but she worked through it. I was so relieved.

We will get through this! Tyler is pushing us everyday. I am glad her father drove to Jtown to be with her.

Tyler, you will never be forgotten!! Mom